After the Storm

This photo sort of sums up my summer. Perhaps it's the reflections that inspired me to reflect on what has happened since mid-April and share that with you. Maybe it's the fact that it rained cats and dogs back then and then we've had a drought until this weekend. Maybe it's the peace and calm of the scene. Thankfully, that's how I'm feeling about it.

Just a little background -

My mother has Alzheimer's Disease. She was diagnosed in November of 2005, although there were signs earlier. My brother Preston lived at her house starting in 1999. His wife has Multiple Sclerosis, and my mother was my sister-in-law's caregiver.

Fast-forward to April 2010, and my brother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This came out of nowhere, as my brother is not a smoker. Radiation and chemo and a lot of positive thinking and prayers beat that cancer back.

Then in April 2011, some new symptoms appeared. After 12 days in the hospital, Preston was diagnosed with cancer in his lymph system, and an aggressive metastatic brain tumor, and was given 2-3 months to live.

I traveled to my mother's house in mid-May to help. My niece (my brother's daughter) had been doing her best to valiantly oversee things while working 3 different jobs. We had home caregivers there 24/7 but with two patients it was quite a challenge.

Many of my dear friends asked "what will your family do without you?" I have to hand it to my husband and two teenage daughters - they never complained. They did express that they missed me, but never made me feel guilty for deserting them for almost two full months.

My brother passed away on the morning of June 13. He was just 54 years old. Just two days earlier, my siblings and I were in his room together for a few brief moments. When my sister stepped across the threshold, I immediately choked up, knowing that it would be the last time ever, although it was the first time we'd all been in the same room for about a decade.

I was not sure that I should have been the one there in Preston's last weeks, but as time progressed, it became clear that it was what God wanted. My brother and I were not best buddies growing up. One could even say that we didn't like each other very much. We had an "Oil and Water" relationship - somehow we just didn't blend well. But as time went on, God repaired the years and years of anger. I believe that I was a comfort to my brother at the end. He told me that he could never repay me. I told him that he just did.

The next task was to move our mother safely to a place where one of us could keep an eye on her on a regular basis. The best choice seemed to be to move her to a place just 2 miles from my house. Unfortunately, that required a full day of travel - either 2 connecting flights or a 15-hour drive from Missouri to Florida. My sister and I decided on the drive, and we decided to do it at night to hopefully reduce any anxiety our mom would feel.

Luckily, we have always been like the Three Musketeers, my sister, my mother and I. I told my mom we were going to go on a trip, and it would be an adventure. She never hesitated to trust me. She also never slept  during the entire drive. She is truly The Energizer Bunny. Unfortunately, that also meant she might be more emotionally fragile upon entering the memory care facility. Despite that, she has actually flourished with the higher level of social activity and choices. My sister calls her "melting sugar", because she just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. I call her "amazing".

Amongst all these experiences with our loved ones, my family also has had the chore of sorting and packing the stuff of virtually everyone in the family, because my brother's family had lived at my mother's house. That was the physically exhausting part. But truthfully I think that helped with the emotionally exhausting part, because moving my mom also meant saying goodbye to having a home to come home to in my birthplace and hometown.

We aren't finished. But, now that we've almost unloaded every box, I have a little time to reflect. I haven't shed a tear for awhile, but writing this, I couldn't help but spill a few drops. I'm feeling somewhat scattered, but overall more blessed than I have in my entire life. I'm especially thankful for my family. The storm will come again, but right now I'm thankful for the peace, God's love, the puddles, and the rainbow.